Deep in the Heart of Texas

Some of you know that I’ve been in Texas this past week on a shoot. While I’ve been to Texas before, I’ve never really spent any time here. There’s a lot to like about the Lone Star state, but there’s also a lot of crazy here too.

First off, I’m staying in a small town about an hour and a half outside Dallas. If there is a center to the middle of no where, go about another mile and you’ll find Athens, Texas. Athens is your typical American small town – it’s got quiet streets lined with mom and pop run shops, old buildings, a town hall that seems to be in the center of town, and of course convicts in orange and white striped outfits picking up trash and doing work around town. The fact that convicts do work in the community doesn’t surprise me – the fact that they still wear the striped outfits…that did.

This is a dry county, which means that alcohol is only served in certain places, and much like Utah, if you want to drink it you need to be a member of the place your at. I’m not exactly sure what I’m now a member of, or even what kind of benefits it provides other then being able to have a Heineken at the local Applebee’s, but I’m now a member here. I’ve even got a card to prove it. This all strikes me as crazy because this is a state where it’s really easy to carry a concealed weapon. From what I’m told, people still carry side arms here, in holsters, much like the old west. So while it’s no problem carrying a gun here, having a beer with dinner is something that needs to be regulated and restricted. But then maybe that’s a good thing…guns and booze doesn’t usually make a good combination – I guess they had to make something more difficult. I’m personally glad to know that they chose alcohol – I mean, guns are far less dangerous.

I had a lunch with someone the other day at a really good BBQ place, and he mentioned to me that he had recently been over to a friend’s house and had some pork. Story goes his friend was out in his yard and saw a wild pig. So he did what any good Texan would do – he shot it and cooked it up. Now…couple things about that story disturb me. First off – “wild” pig. I’m in a state where there are “wild” pigs. Have pigs been wild in, oh I don’t know, that last 100 years? Are there huge herds of pigs somewhere? I know there are still horses and other animals in the wild…but pigs?

The other thing is that he shot it and ate it. Call me crazy, but I still think of a pig as a filthy animal (thanks Quentin Tarrentino!). Don’t get me wrong, I love bacon and pulled pork, but I like to think when I’m eating it that it’s coming from some clean pig from some nice farm. Do I know that’s even crazier then the “wild” pig – yes. But it’s what keeps me going – let me enjoy the lie. But I would never eat some pig that’s been roaming the state of Texas. Who knows what God-awful stuff it’s in ingested.

Finally…smoking. Walk into any restaurant here and you get asked – smoking or non-smoking. Did this ever really work? Can you really not smell the smoke throughout the place? I walked into the aforementioned BBQ place and walked past a table with a family eating…mom, dad, daughter, and new born baby. Mom and dad both were smoking away, a mere 2 feet away from what I’m assuming is their new born baby. Are you kidding me? Who does this? I really wanted to ask them if they thought all that smoke was good for their baby, but then thought twice – they may be packing heat.
I won’t get into some of the good ole boy conversations I’ve heard…like the two guys talking about Obama’s presidency – I think you can figure out on what they were saying. But I will say that while I think this state has a lot of crazy stuff (for a SoCal guy like myself), it also has some really amazing scenery, and some very nice people. You’d be hard pressed to find more friendly people then hear in Texas.